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Adam2012, on Jun 16 2013 09:59 AM, said:

It works really well for us. No, I'm not an accountant, neither is my partner. I do think we're fairly organized people though, and we spend more time than many on tracking and organizing their finances.

We once had a single account, and the normal problems that can arise from that lead to a discussion and re-thinking on how else it could be organized. We've been together 20 years and have fought about money zero times since making the change. As a result of this post, I asked my partner about the switch, and neither of us would want to go back. I must say though, after 20 years, we were both amused by the person who insisted that we can't love each other because we choose to organize our accounts.

As for your hypothetical situation on the groceries, those are shared expenses and come out of the shared bill account. Every shared expense comes from that account. The only things we use the personal accounts for are personal purchases (un-budgeted), and there is never any question on whether we can or should purchase that thing. The other person hasn't already spent it, or had their eye on something else with that money in mind, or worry that the other has a check floating and you might step on it. It's simple, if account balance > cost, you can buy it and nobody cares.

I don't think there is a "right" answer here, so much as what works for each couple. I saw a few saying separate accounts were bad, but I disagree. I think if one of you are reluctant to give visibility into your account info, that would concern me (aka, don't want the other to see what you're doing with money), but simply having a separate account can work well.

For my scenario, we have 4 accounts:

• The bill account, where money arrives first from direct deposit.
  
• The savings account, where we save for longer term goals, emergency fund, etc. (These first two are technically sub-accounts of the same account, if it really matters)
  
• Personal account for spouse 1
  
• Personal account for spouse 2

So money arrives to the primary bill account automatically and on a predictable schedule by direct deposit. Scheduled automatic transfers with the bank then move x dollars to each of the other accounts on a scheduled basis. How much stays in the bill account, or moves to savings, or personal 1 and personal 2 is based on our agreed budget.

This does several things:

• It effectively ear marks money into 4 pools, so at any time you can get an immediate answer to "How much can I spend" without breaking out the calculator.
  
• It ensures all accounts (bills, savings, or personal) always align to our agreed budget. The bills get covered first, then money moves out to savings or personal based upon our agreed budgeted amounts.
  
• We each have our own spending money, and never have to worry about overrunning the account because we're both trying to spend the same money.
  
• We each have full access to our money, a check book, debit card (etc) that taps into only the specified funds. At least at our bank, they don't like to give multiple debit cards for the same account, so this is pretty convenient comparatively.
  
• We never have to check with the other to clear a personal purchase (A purchase with shared money like savings, yes, but not your personal funds). It's our ear marked personal money. Don't overdraw yourself, but otherwise do what you want with it. Yes, even bigger purchases, because you saved your portion of the money and decided you wanted a PS3.

Maybe that's too formal for some, and I'm not professing it as "the way", but it works well for us. I think most money issues for spouses are because each wants to spend the money differently, or does not like losing their autonomy to make personal purchases without needing "permission". This makes it clear what is available for any purpose at any time and still treats both partners as adults who can manage "their" money while keeping some shared funds for shared goals.

Caldrac, on Jun 13 2013 07:07 AM, said:

Play on PC with them. Get a video card with HDMI out; that's most any decent one from AMD or Nvidia these days, and something you'd probably want to play a recent game on PC anyway. Then run HDMI from your PC to your TV. You may have to work out a few logistics to sit comfortably on your recliner, but get wireless peripherals and a lap desk of some kind and I'm sure you can make it work.

TFB, on Jun 12 2013 09:08 PM, said:

I've seen this sentiment on jean shorts repeated a lot on the boards and I have to say, I must have missed the connection. Is there some reason we think only Tebow homers wear jean shorts?

ytraM, on May 25 2013 07:13 AM, said:

You have a very interesting view of government if you believe everything done by our representatives is in lockstep with "a majority" of the electorate. I'm sure with very minor googling you can find numerous examples of the opposite.