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Jun 16 2013 10:28 AMAgain - whatever works for you is fine with me... but man, this looks more like a corporate account than a relationship account. Do you have a mediator on call? ("Hey, I thought you paid for the vegetables and I paid for the meat!") Your arrangement looks like some of the "agreements" I had with roommates back in the day.
Are you an accountant by any chance?
It works really well for us. No, I'm not an accountant, neither is my partner. I do think we're fairly organized people though, and we spend more time than many on tracking and organizing their finances.
We once had a single account, and the normal problems that can arise from that lead to a discussion and re-thinking on how else it could be organized. We've been together 20 years and have fought about money zero times since making the change. As a result of this post, I asked my partner about the switch, and neither of us would want to go back. I must say though, after 20 years, we were both amused by the person who insisted that we can't love each other because we choose to organize our accounts.
As for your hypothetical situation on the groceries, those are shared expenses and come out of the shared bill account. Every shared expense comes from that account. The only things we use the personal accounts for are personal purchases (un-budgeted), and there is never any question on whether we can or should purchase that thing. The other person hasn't already spent it, or had their eye on something else with that money in mind, or worry that the other has a check floating and you might step on it. It's simple, if account balance > cost, you can buy it and nobody cares.
Jun 15 2013 09:52 AMI don't think there is a "right" answer here, so much as what works for each couple. I saw a few saying separate accounts were bad, but I disagree. I think if one of you are reluctant to give visibility into your account info, that would concern me (aka, don't want the other to see what you're doing with money), but simply having a separate account can work well.
For my scenario, we have 4 accounts:
- The bill account, where money arrives first from direct deposit.
- The savings account, where we save for longer term goals, emergency fund, etc. (These first two are technically sub-accounts of the same account, if it really matters)
- Personal account for spouse 1
- Personal account for spouse 2
So money arrives to the primary bill account automatically and on a predictable schedule by direct deposit. Scheduled automatic transfers with the bank then move x dollars to each of the other accounts on a scheduled basis. How much stays in the bill account, or moves to savings, or personal 1 and personal 2 is based on our agreed budget.
This does several things:
- It effectively ear marks money into 4 pools, so at any time you can get an immediate answer to "How much can I spend" without breaking out the calculator.
- It ensures all accounts (bills, savings, or personal) always align to our agreed budget. The bills get covered first, then money moves out to savings or personal based upon our agreed budgeted amounts.
- We each have our own spending money, and never have to worry about overrunning the account because we're both trying to spend the same money.
- We each have full access to our money, a check book, debit card (etc) that taps into only the specified funds. At least at our bank, they don't like to give multiple debit cards for the same account, so this is pretty convenient comparatively.
- We never have to check with the other to clear a personal purchase (A purchase with shared money like savings, yes, but not your personal funds). It's our ear marked personal money. Don't overdraw yourself, but otherwise do what you want with it. Yes, even bigger purchases, because you saved your portion of the money and decided you wanted a PS3.
Maybe that's too formal for some, and I'm not professing it as "the way", but it works well for us. I think most money issues for spouses are because each wants to spend the money differently, or does not like losing their autonomy to make personal purchases without needing "permission". This makes it clear what is available for any purpose at any time and still treats both partners as adults who can manage "their" money while keeping some shared funds for shared goals.
- The bill account, where money arrives first from direct deposit.
Jun 13 2013 08:58 AMI don't know. I am just excited that I can play a MMORPG again on a platform based system. Like I said, at one point when I was roughly in my early teens, me, my dad, and my brother were all playing EQOA in every single room of our apartment together online with other people with our PS2's. It was fun. Dad would blast Planet Radio on 93.3 at the time all day and we'd go on raids, group up, beat down people, do quests, it was cool to bond all the time like that in the house and outside of the house when we went to play football and fishing. My dad used to play the heck out of WoW up until about a year ago. I guess his age caught up to him finally at 46 years old just recently. All he does is fish now. Which is great. I tag along with him when I can. But I might try to convince him to get a PS4 and get ESO so we can play together since I don't live at home anymore. My brother won't convert back to Platform though, my dad probably won't either. They're PC junkies for the most part.
Play on PC with them. Get a video card with HDMI out; that's most any decent one from AMD or Nvidia these days, and something you'd probably want to play a recent game on PC anyway. Then run HDMI from your PC to your TV. You may have to work out a few logistics to sit comfortably on your recliner, but get wireless peripherals and a lap desk of some kind and I'm sure you can make it work.
Jun 13 2013 08:47 AMWho said that?! You've obviously never had a discussion with a jort wearing Broncors/Jetors/Gatriots tebro fan have you?
I'm jealous. If you see Jorts or missing teeth, RUN. The dialect will nearly kill you.
I've seen this sentiment on jean shorts repeated a lot on the boards and I have to say, I must have missed the connection. Is there some reason we think only Tebow homers wear jean shorts?
May 25 2013 08:22 AMFirst of all, I used the word IF. IF a majority of people....
And of course, it would be evidenced by a vote from our elected representatives.
You have a very interesting view of government if you believe everything done by our representatives is in lockstep with "a majority" of the electorate. I'm sure with very minor googling you can find numerous examples of the opposite.